Scarlett turned one year old exactly two weeks ago. She’s not walking. I know that all babies develop at their own pace and that she’s not even close to being a “late” walker at this point. I also know she likes to walk holding our hands or the furniture, which is a great sign that it’s coming soon. But I always assumed she’d be walking by now. She crawled right on pace and was pulling herself up soon after that. And plus, she’s got to be advanced, right? I mean, look at her parents.
A couple weeks ago I saw the Dr. Phil episode in celebration of his granddaughter, Avery, turning one. (Yes, I watch – and enjoy -- Dr. Phil, so no cracks about it!) Avery is just a few days older than Scarlett and he’s had a few episodes about Avery that have nicely tracked my experiences with Scarlett. For example, there was an episode where they filmed an ultrasound to find out Avery’s sex in utero. So they were finding out she was a girl around the same time I found out Scarlett was a girl. And then of course the episode right after Avery was born was right after SJ was born. So it’s been kind of neat to follow along.
Until now. Although Avery is only days older than Scarlett, she seems months older. Avery can walk short distances in between her parents. Avery says “oh-oh” when she drops something on the floor. Avery can do calculus problems in her head while simultaneously reciting the Star Spangled Banner.
Scarlett can’t do any of that.
Last weekend we took Scarlett to an indoor play space and there was a boy there who was just a few days older than Scarlett. He could walk, use a sippy cup, and mimic the sound his mom said when she told him he was holding a truck (“Uck. Uck.”). Scarlett tips the sippy cup upside down and chews on the bottom and has a vocabulary that sounds pretty much like this no matter what she’s intending to say: “jikl jikl bikkl dikkl.”
I don’t know why it bothers me so much that these babies can do more than her, but I really feel desperate to have her walk (and say a few words and use a sippy cup and try changing her own diaper for once). I know, intellectually, that her inability to walk is meaningless and doesn’t suggest she won’t excel and be really smart in the future. Right?
I guess it means I have my own insecurities about being a mom that are triggered when I think that maybe SJ isn’t learning something she should be or isn’t catching on as fast a she should be. As if it’s my fault she’s not walking or can’t use a sippy cup because I should be working with her on it more. Or, if I get really deep into my psyche, that it’s my fault she’s not walking because I gave her bad genes or something. Oh the craziness that spews from a new parent’s mouth! I know it’s crazy! But it’s hard not to feel that way.
Right now I know I need to just take a deep breath, sit back, and be patient and let her develop at her own pace. This is easier said than done, but for Scarlett’s sake, I will try.
At least she was way cuter than those other babies.
God, she is SOOOOO cute!!
ReplyDeleteI think I was a super late walker. I would just drag myself around and refused to walk. I also used a paci until I was five. And look how great I turned out!! Be warned! ;)
Lilly didn't fully walk until 14/15 months. She took her first steps at 14 months, then relapsed and waited until 15 months. Now I'm all busted up all the time, because her cousin who is 8 months younger than her knows his ABCs, colors, and what is the logo on every car! I chalk that all up to him being in day care with two 4 year olds who were learning their letters for kindergarden. It's hard not to compare, and it really is something we shouldn't do. My aunt points out to me, though-where Hayden (her cousin) knows his ABCs and colors, Lilly has been pretend playing since she was 18 months, and is way more imaginative than him. I guess that's what you get when you have two artistic parents. :)
ReplyDeleteThey all end up meeting up by kindergarden, and I am sure pre-school for lilly next year will really help her out. I have to admit, I'm not one of the moms who drill letters or numbers into her head-I prefer to let her play...I mean isn't she going to be learning and going to school for almost 20 years of her life?
The whole point of this rant is...it doesn't ever change. You will always compare, and have to tell yourself not to. :)